So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
two words: eviction party
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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