i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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