My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
