i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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