She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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