It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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