i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
