In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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