ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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