I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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