oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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