I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
