Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
