there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
