Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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