Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
