Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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