she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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