I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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