12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
