please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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