i don't like sucking hair
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
