The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
