Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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