so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She even gives head with a lisp.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dick very happy bro
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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