Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
