covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize