I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize