my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
