So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
