after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
