please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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