i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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