Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
