Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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