Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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