we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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