was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
