hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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