I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize