My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
