Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
