He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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