She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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