what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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