Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
