I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
