Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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