is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
