singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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