Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I skipped work to stalk him.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
