Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
