Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
