Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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