one might say we're banned from that church
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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