JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
