i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
