Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
