I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
