A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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