god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
