"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think i got beer on your cat.
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