Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize