Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
