Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
