Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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