ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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