so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
