I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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