Redeem this text for a blowjob
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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