Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize