So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
