just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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