i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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