You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize