in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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