im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
